Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, I write up a blog post on my new website in hopes that nobody will ever fall for your cruel fooling again. So without any further ado (ado! ado! ado!–besides those ados), here are 5 tips to avoid being a fool this April 1st:
1. Pump yourself up with The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again”
Nothing gets you quite in the mood to not get fooled again like one of history’s greatest rock bands singing about not getting fooled again. For safety measures, I typically listen to this song 5-10 times on loop every morning when I wake up.
2. Double Check Everything
Some people may call you paranoid, but that’s probably just because they set up a booby trap for you underneath your bed or inside the refrigerator or within the shower head. While the safe money is on not leaving your bedroom all day, being extra vigilant every moment of the day should drastically reduce fooling chances as well.
3. Set Your Friends’ Clocks 23 Hours Ahead So They Think They Slept Through April 1st
It is Briantifically proven that 95% less fooling goes down on April 2nd compared to April 1st. If your friends think it’s April 2nd, they won’t have the motivation for hi-jinks or shenanigans. Plus, they’ll likely be at work all day since real April 2nd is a workday. A win for you and a win for capitalism!
4. Threaten Your Friends With A Knife
Let them know you’d rather spend a few years in the slammer than be the butt of another April Fools’ prank. They’ll probably suggest you’re being crazy, but in reality they’re just upset that they won’t be able to follow through on whatever bull$#!+ they had planned.
5. Skip Town
Get in the car and don’t stop driving until it’s April 2nd.
The brakes are cut.
Curse you, Drew! This was your best April Fooling yet!